JEDPL Reviews: Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan
By the time you finished reading this JEDPL Review, I have but one moral for everybody here on the Animapredictview Wiki... myself included. In fact, this particular lesson is so vital that it's made up of another lesson. Are you ready for this? {sighs} Today's moral of the story is: get the brain bleach out, because you have been warned. Curiosity killed the cat and I. You know you could just do something else instead of sticking around for the show... like convincing everybody that Cory Baxter's gonna be in the new Super Smash Bros. ''installment, or some shit. All and all, the decision is all up to YOU. I'm not forcing you to read my thoughts on this one. {ahem} Hello there, guys. I am the Celestial Monarch with the balls that are bigger than Chuck Testa, Ouroboros! Sadistic Saturday came as fast as usual and, with that said, my progress here has deteriorated. Again. I cannot tell everybody the various amount of times that I've initially planned to do another project here in less than weeks, only for more priorities to shove their ugly faces down my throat. Last I checked, the only things worthy enough to go down my esophagus involve seafood and cold packs of Barq's, so just take it or leave it. What I have prepared today is something so grotesquely cute, you have to wonder what I was on when writing this review for said series. It isn't very long, but with all the on-screen mayhem and assf***ery that takes place, the anime seems to drag on more than you think; NOT that that type of thing always happens to end badly. And by the way, be for certain that a half-naked angel isn't behind you with a sharp weapon while you're browsing this article. Once more, for your protection and everyone around here, you have been WARNED. Here it is, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, and other murlocs of all ages over 10! May I present to you... {drumroll} ''Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan!! The review {checking the Sanity Meter} Ooookay, it's at least moderate.'' Originally a light novel series written by Masaki Okayu with illustrations by Torishimo, ''Dokuro-chan ''is all about the story of Sakura Kusakabe, a 13-year-old junior high student who looks and acts like the most ordinary bitch in the world... and yes, folks, that is ACTUALLY the character's name. Clearly somebody in this family wasn't right in the head and had to name him after cherry blossoms... {facepalm} Aren't females associated with that anyway? But getting back on topic, Sakura throughout the plot (or lack thereof) finds himself distracted and occupied by a hypocritical "assassin angel", the titular Dokuro Mitsukai. She was sent from the future to kill him in order to prevent him from creating technologic devices that stop girls from physical growth after the age of 12. This would make for a deep story... had the f***ing series not been about crossing the line, snorting it like cocaine, spitting it out, and then letting a shark rip your taint off all while eating the line up again!! {looks back at the Meter} I-i-i-it's d-d-d-d-d-d-dropping slightly, b-b-but... {slapped out of confusion} ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!!!! I have to confess about something here: you would be in the process of watching a six-episode anime (four for Season 1, and two for the second season), which by itself wouldn't be so mind-numbing.... but then you come to the realization that ''Dokuro-chan ''deconstructs quite a number of magical girl tropes and relies on rapid-fire comedy and TONS of fanservice. It can be humorous, but when you happen to come across Sakura getting bludgeoned by Dokuro's ''Excalibolg, a gigantic club, for the umpteenth time, then you must be aware that the people at Hal Film Maker are doing this for a sick laugh. Admittedly, one of Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan's strengths lie within the characters themselves. Oh, they're not special, but a majority of them (the series has a LIMITED amount of roles, speaking of which) at the very least have the potential to not make the viewers bored outta their skulls. Sabato Mihashigo, an angel sent to complete the mission that Dokuro disregarded, happens to be my personal favorite: if she isn't goofing off at Sakura's school, then she's pretty much a hobo in a cardboard box. Also, does anybody else remember "imagination"? {audience applause} Well, then shut up. Zansu, on the other hand, feels sorta out of place... if only because he's the only male angel you ever get to see. That and, well, just look at his character design; Johnny Napalm, I found your more immoral, but Butt Monkey of a cousin for you! I have mixed feeling about its animation as a whole. Throughout the first and second seasons, the quality has changed by just a bit, not that I mind it or anything. Dokuro-chan ''and its animation quality also sound each other, given that this is a batshit crazy anime we've got on our hands. With photorealistic animal heads, Commodore Perry (thaaaaaat's right... Not f***ing kidding here), and the Sensitive Salaryman, Binkan, it's hard to contact anybody that perceives the entire thing as relatively normal! As for the character designs, they're not terrible in the least, but they CONTRADICT oh so much with the carnage: as in, every single time Sakura is bludgeoned by Dokuro's club. Fortunately, this series has yet another highlight: the audio presentation. Much of it is erratic, perverted (not in the sexual sense, EXACTLY), and has no subtlety whatsoever; extremely fitting for a widget anime, huh? While the music isn't much to blab about, the opening and closing themes of the two seasons, courtesy of Saeko Chiba, most definitely are! The songs are annoyingly catchy and the same could be said about the lyrics, which are either helped OR not helped by Chiba who performs in-character as... {drumroll} Dokuro herself! The English dub features stellar, ridiculous acting by Adam Pa--- I mean, Johnny Yong Bosch and Wendee Lee. That's REALLY all I have to say here... Final verdict Well, compared to the previous review, ''Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan's was fairly shorter... but for one reason only: IT'S F***ING SHORT!!! This anime, though, is sure to polarize a vast majority of anime and manga fans alike. With its hyperactive insanity alone, you are left with many, MANY pathways that you could take, logical or otherwise. Like I've mentioned earlier, the animation suits the strange, yet adorable series and the musical pieces are everlastingly plentiful, but its comedic values are hit-and-miss. Until next time, I'm Ouroboros the Celestial Monarch and, without further adieu, I'd be happy to see all of your faces again soo--- {checks the Sanity Meter one last time} Oh. Shit. {self-destructs upon impact via toy chihuahua} "I have a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. Oh!" 15:34, May 3, 2014 (UTC) Ouroboros the Celestial Monarch Category:Review